Nancy Anderson has the following to share about her new book and safeguarding your Christian marriage.
Q: Nancy thanks so much for your time and for this great book! You start off right away by introducing yourself as a "cheater". Why did you feel compelled to share your own experience of adultery in this book and how do you hope that this can help readers?
A: The reason I tell my story is to, hopefully, prevent it from becoming someone elses story. I am willing to say, Ive been to the other side of the fence and I can tell you that the grass is NOT greener. Its full of weeds and thornsits a lie. I want to tell couples that if they water their own marriages, they can grow a beautiful, healthy green relationship in their own backyard.
Q: What role should faith play in the marital union? Why is commitment to a Church family so integral?A: When I had my affair, my husband and I were lukewarm Christians who were not attending church. That lack of accountability lead to my self-deceptive thinking. I didnt get Godly council and I took advice from non-Christians. I believed the worlds lie; You deserve to be happy, I sought feelings over truth and selfishness over self-control. I took God off the throne of my life and lived to please myself.
Now, with Christ as the foundation of our marriage and our church as our social and spiritual base, we stand firm and accountable to other Christians.
Q: I know that many couples who are experiencing marital challenges will benefit from their reading of your book, but why should happily married couples invest their time in reading Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome?
A: Because preventing an affair is always better than trying to recover from one. Some security firms hire reformed burglars to show them where their property is vulnerable; I can show you where your marriage may be vulnerable. Also, every husband and wife should know the warning signs that may indicate your mate is having an affair. If you have a good marriage, this book will give you creative ways to make it great. It has many fun and practical ways to keep your marriage fresh and exciting.
Q: You discuss planting "guarding hedges" in some of the areas of one's life where temptation might creep in - could you please say a few words about these, especially the workplace and church environments.
A: Jake and I worked together. He told me that I was funny, pretty and smart. He laughed at my jokes and bathed me in compliments. Those compliments were like magnets and I became very attracted to him. My husband was critical and rarely praised me, so I was starving for positive attention. Im not excusing what I did, but the workplace can be a dangerous environment if you are not being watered at home.
Most affairs begin with a flirtation and flirting can happen anywhere, even at church. Choir members, Sunday school teachers, and committee leaders often work together at church activities, and that can lead to trouble if the relationship becomes too personal. We have to guard our hearts, even at church. If you are attracted to someone, stay away, and dont allow an inappropriate bond to form - we are told to flee temptation.
Q: Thanks again for your time. What do you feel is the single most important factor in creating and maintaining a successful marriage?
A: For me it has been the friendship factor. I not only love my husband, I like him. Our relationship is not just based on passion and romance, its deeper than that. Those things may come and go during the years, but our friendship, trust and devotion are stronger and more stable that our emotions. Love based on caring for each other and a firm commitment to Christ is described in Ecclesiastes 4:12b where is says that a three-stranded cord is not easily broken. If you love God, and each other, in thought word and deed, your three-stranded-marriage will survive and thrive.
Click here for Advertisement on My blog
